How to Address a Pastor’s Spouse?

How a pastor’s spouse is addressed depends on the tradition of the denomination and/or the congregation.
—-#1) In some congregations she is addressed as First Lady (Name). See the second and third posts on this page.
—-#2) In others there is no special form. Use Mrs./Ms./Mr./Dr./etc – whichever honorific to which he or she is entitled. After their name he or she is identified as ‘wife of’ or ‘husband of’ the pastor.’

—-Envelope: How to Address the Spouse of a Pastor

—-—-Mrs. (Husband’s Full Name)
—-—-(Address)

—-—-Ms. (Her Given Name) (Surname)
—-—-(Address)

—-—-Mr. (Full Name)
—-—-(Address)

—-Salutation:
—-—-Dear Mrs. (Surname)
—-—-Dear Ms. (Surname)
—-—-Dear Mr. (Surname)

– Robert Hickey How to Address the Spouse of a Pastor

Robert Hickey author of “Honor & Respect”

How to Address a Former First Lady?

How do you list the name in a program of a First Lady whose husband passed while pastoring a church?  The church now has a new Pastor and First Lady.
————– GC

Dear GC,

Tradition of the congregation is important here. Tradition may – they may not – dictate whether to address a former first lady as ‘First Lady (Name)’.  But since you asked my opinion – I will answer how I would advise you do it.

—-In a program where she was listed, I would suggest you list her as:
—-—-Mrs. James Jones (Helen)
—-—-First Lady, Alden Baptist Church, 1990-2010

That would (1) identify her husband … (2) provide her given name … (3) show the years of her service …  (4) and make it clear she was not the current first lady.

– Robert Hickey

See these Related Posts:
–—–—Spouse of the President of the USA
–—–—Wife of the Vice President of the USA
–—-—Husband of the Vice President of the USA
–—–—Spouse of the Governor of a State
–—–—Spouse of the Lieutenant Governor of a State
–—–—Spouses of other elected officials
–—–—Spouse of the Pastor of a Church “First Lady”
–—–—Spouse of a Pastor of a Church

Related Posts:
——–—Couples: Private Citizens
——–—Couples: Christian Clergy
——–—Couples: Rabbis
——–—Couples: Military
——–—Couples: U.S. Officials
——–—Couples: Same Sex

Robert Hickey author of “Honor & Respect”

When Should You Use the Forms on this Page?

You can use these forms of address for any mode of communication: addressing a letter, invitation, card or Email. (If there are differences between the official and social forms of address, I will have mentioned the different forms.)  The form noted in the salutation is the same form you say when you say their name in conversation or when you greet them.
___What I don’t cover on this site are many things I do cover in my book: all the rules of forms of address, about names, international titles, precedence, complimentary closes, details on invitations, place cards, all sorts of introductions, etc. I hope you’ll get a copy of the book if you’d like the further detail.

Not Finding Your Answer?

—-#1)  At right on desktops, at the bottom of every page on tablets and phones, is a list of all the offices, officials & topics covered on the site.

—-#2)  If you don’t see the official you seek included or your question answered send me an e-mail. I am pretty fast at sending a reply: usually the next day or so (unless I am traveling.)  Note: I don’t have mailing or Email addresses for any of the officials and I don’t keep track of offices that exist only in history books.

—-#3)  If I think your question is of interest to others, Sometimes I post the question  – but always change all the specifics.

— Robert Hickey 

Robert Hickey author of “Honor & Respect”

Recommended Resources:  The Protocol School of Washington (PSOW) and Protocol and Diplomacy International – Protocol Officers Association (PDI-POA)    For more information see the Protocol Resources page.